Conan’s patron god

Conan mostly invokes his name, only in curses…”by Crom!”  that sort of thing.  But, there is enough in the Conan stories to suggest the nature of the Cimmerian god.  One of many, of course, most peoples throughout history and before have believed in many gods and goddesses.  Perhaps it is a subtle realization that a universe as capricious as ours had to be made by committee, that no one really is in charge.   Therefore, make a deal with a god, and, if he or it or she comes through, great, if not, choose another deity.  The notion that the bad things that happen to us are “sent to test us” would have been ludicrous.  Surely the gods already know whether we are going to pass or not.

In some way, Crom reminded me of aspects of the god Odin, a god still celebrated among pagans in the Norse and Germanic traditions.

Anyway.  I always kind of liked the idea of a god who simply gave gifts at birth, and then left us alone to make our way.  Conan’s patron deity, Crom, is like that in the Conan stories.  When I was even more a space cadet than I am now, I once dreamed of creating a religion based on Crom.   But what the hell, he wouldn’t care.   He might even get pissed off.

So I wrote this instead.

Crom’s Way

It is said I live only in books;

If so, I am in good company.

Nothing lives only in books,

Unreal except between covers.

Although, books offer only a representation,

An image of a shadow in the author,

Not the thing, itself.



My home is a great hall,

High on a misty mountain.

I am Crom,

And I have little to do with you.

At birth, my spirit puffs gifts into you,

Gifts of strength and hardiness,

Strength to hold and strength to slay.

What?  I do not care.

I am Crom,

Most honest of all gods,

For how, or whether you use my gifts

Means little to me.

Although, it does please me to see men,

Yes, and women, too

Rejoicing in their power.


Some pray to me for help,

To them I send curses.

No god can help cowards or weaklings.

Who can help those

Who have forgotten what they already have?


Some pray to release their power,

They say:  You have given me all I need,

Now may I draw it from my heart,

And if you do not care to help,

Get out of my way!  To hell with you!


These are my true children.





I have always had an attraction to the Norse gods.  I grew up reading their stories.  Somehow, the grand tragedy of the Norse myths…the fact that the gods, themselves, faced the same end as the rest of creation, appealed to my heart.  The notion of an omnipotent, omniscient deity who had no beginning and no ending was beyond my feeble intellect.  In the Norse myths, the universe begins in chaos, and form emerges from it.  The gods are a product of that process, just as we are.  Their tales entrance me, especially the tales of the ordeals that the god Odin endured:  plucking out an eye for the power of clairvoyance, hanging, spear-wounded, on the tree of the universe to learn the runes.  Odin goes under many names…Wanderer, Ill-worker,  Alfather, among others.  I think Conan’s god Crom represents at least an aspect of  Odin, or, I like to think that.  Anyway, over the years I have often attempted to work with the visions that come to me from the north…the sacred direction!  Here is a vision of  Odin

Valkyries at Save-On

I am constantly returning to tales and visions of the gods of my distant ancestors in northwest Europe…the spiritual ways of a people before the shadow of the cross fell across our hearts.  It is a constant.  (witness my page:  Asatru proverbs)  I am drawn also to the literary spinoffs of those old visions…like the vision of the god Crom in the Conan stories.  From time to time, in this blog, I will settle into that groove.  Like now.  This one is kind of funky.  I saw three blondes in a Save-On parking lot, and immediately thought of Valkyries…I often think of valkyries when I see blondes.  I thought about taking something for that, but decided the disease was more fun than the cure.  Apocolypse Now and the Ride of the Valkyries!  Yes!  Remember their song, their war cry:  Ho-yo-to-ho!

I have often wondered where Wagner got that for their song.Three Blondes in the Save

Proof of God, a ramble

I always questioned all the arguments for the existence of  God.  None made any sense to me.  One thing, however, struck me as being a real possibility.   Revelation.  Manifestation.  God here and now.  God actually talking to yah!  But,  then, look at who he chooses to talk to, at least according to the so-called holy books.  He saves Lot, who promptly gets drunk and has sex with his daughters.  (His wife turning into a pillar of salt must have unhinged him)  Altho…to be fair…they seduced him.  And  boys will be boys.  But, if there were 50 or so like Lot in Sodom and Gomorrah,  God would have spared both towns.   Anyway.  Moving up through the centuries to Jesus,  who promises eternal life to those who follow him, completely overlooking the obvious result that the intellectual midgets who become braindead at baptism (too much time under water?) would use those words to seek out and destroy all who do not believe.   And then there’s Mohammed.  Mind you, at least the Koran is direct about how to live, and is honest about holy war.  (What you see is what you get.)  Too bad so many of us non-muslims fail to read it.  If we did,  we would know where we really stand with our muslim neighbors.

After looking at that stuff,  I was about to give up on the whole thing,  and return to an old teen-age idea of mine to start a religion based around Crom (the Cimmerians’ god in Howard’s Conan stories) when I spotted my daughter returning from high school.   She has no belief at all.  Just sees no purpose in it.  And is one of the most generous and kind people I know.  God has not so far looked her up.  And, I guess if God isn’t going to talk to someone like her, I have to harbour suspicions of his judgement.

Crom, here I come.   And,  for those who like their gods from books with no author…there’s always Odin and the Aesir and Vanir.

Published in: on March 22, 2009 at 9:01 pm  Leave a Comment  
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