I am tagging and categorizing this as poetry…maybe i should create a category/tag called proetry.

I was thinking of  Christmas carols.   It happened because I just read a Richard Brautigan novel in which the private eye used to sing christmas carols in the shower.  He lost  a nubile young thing for doing that in July.   He remarked maybe she didn’t like hearing carols in July.  Maybe he should have tried August.   I once worked for a public radio station, jockeying a profoundly eclectic program called Shank of the Morning.  I would play anything.   Every so often I would choose a theme.  Once it was The Greatest British War Movie,  in which i told a war story involving all the classic Brit soldier guys…HMS Defiant, crewed by English longbowmen sailing to Sebastopol with the Bengal Lancers, all accompanied by all that hypernoble sounding march stuff by the likes of Kenneth Alford,  who had two marches in big movies…Col Bogey,  and in Lawrence of Arabia, the Sound of the Guns…he wasn’t given credit in either soundtrack, at least initially, tho he was later.  Anyway, the program was a huge success, with one guy phoning in and asking if i could work John Wayne into it  I said sure, this is radio.  But, now, and this is where the story really starts,  one of the programs turned out to be gigantically successful, and that was one when i said i would do a ‘seasonal’ program..this was in August…and the season i chose was Christmas.   People loved hearing that stuff in one day in August.  Go figure.   I remember playing Away in a Manger, and i started thinking about that manger.  Like, who knows what a manger is?  We just sing the songs.  A manger…duh…comes from the verb manger…to eat.  So Jesus was laid in this wooden troughy thing usually filled with oats and slops or whatever, and i wondered how history would have changed if Mary and Joseph had gone to answer the doorbell, and ended up talking to a canvasser from Oxfam, and when they looked back at the manger, it would be surrounded by oxen or goats or donkeys or pigs looking very satisfied.  No, not likely, they were jewish so there were no pigs around.  Tho, the stable could have been owned by an Armenian rug merchant investing in real estate, and there could have been pigs, then.   Anyway Mary-Joe look around, and lo! the manger is empty, the angelic choirs have gone home, replaced by pimply faced carollers wondering what they are supposed to be singing about, and Pilate and Judas don’t have to worry about their reputations, anymore, and we don’t have christmas carols, and that would royally suck.  They are good tunes.

Published in: on May 30, 2012 at 5:39 pm  Leave a Comment  
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