Make Up Rules, or You Will Think the World Logical

The second surrealish lyric today:


Rule:  No one may make waffles with a laptop;

Didn’t you write that to me?

Rule:  When I approach, do not think of Lyme disease;

Whoever imagined Captain McClear’s rat must

have been drunk on cactus.

Rule:  Impossibleness is the only universal;

I remember snapping your brassiere strap,

But you were but five and I was punished.

Rule:  There is a cruel but compassionate

Irrelevance  to hitting with a ruler;

Mathematics is painful in itself,  so avoid the metric edge.

Rule:  The bookshelves must be chock full of

Only one book, with as many titles as copies;

Do not, therefore, try to contain.

Rule:  The pen is mightier than the sword

(but who uses swords, anyway?) but

Not so graceful as a whip;  therefore,

Kiss the girls and make the rye.

Rule:  No one may mature beyond six, without

Gaining elevation;  senescence is but

The expression of puberty.

Rule:  Wear only suspenders to bed, but give

your companion a light socket;  control

the imposition of ballpoints on your fiveplay.

Rule:  No one may write a symphony upon a lyrebird;

A girl’s bottom has no explanation but Venn diagrams.

Rule the last:   Do not start unless you do not intend to finish;

Success is a matter of disintegration.

Please memorize my commandments, burn them, forget them, then learn to live by them; the future will be in your debt.  On the other hand, if you object to credit, tie your camel to a poll.


Published in: on May 23, 2012 at 5:48 pm  Leave a Comment  
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